Pendelton University has a new chancellor, who causes anger when he cuts funding and takes away tenure, so Dick holds a meeting, in which he convinces the faculty to resign en masse. Unfortunately, the chancellor accepts the resignations and leaves everybody in the faculty, bar Dick - who withdrew his own, without a job. Upon finding out about his betrayal, the faculty protest outside Dick's classroom and Mary refuses to be seen with him. Meanwhile, Tommy begins working at a pretzel store with his girlfriend Alissa, but begins to dislike working with her and gives Sally and Harry free pretzels, with which they start their own business right in front of the store.

Dick and Harry fall into a large hole in the woods, which covers over when they attempt to climb out. Dick then panics, whilst Harry remains in a relaxed, zen-like state. A hole expert, named Angus 'The Hole' McDuff is called to the scene and devises a plan to build a second hole in order to access the one Dick and Harry are stuck in; however he becomes highly offended when Sally belittles his idea.

Tommy is still reeling from his breakup with Alissa, but Sally and Harry convince him that if he can find an excuse to go over to her house, he can persuade her to watch a movie with him. When the pair leave the house together, however, Strudwick is suspicious and confronts Dick. Mrs. Dubcek suggests that they could have eloped, so Dick and Strudwick rush off to track them down before there's a baby on the scene, managing to accidentally abandon Mary in the process. Meanwhile, Tommy has rented a scary movie to watch with Alissa, in the hope that it might bring her into his arms, but Sally and Harry decide to show up and make it more real.

The Solomons' say goodbye to Tommy as he goes to college, but Dick soon begins to miss him and attempts to convince him to come home. Tommy, however, is enjoying college life and doesn't want to, so Dick convinces him to pull an elaborate freshman prank to gain himself popularity, but really in the hope that Tommy will be expelled. Meanwhile, Sally and Harry are interviewing candidates for Tommy's replacement and although their best candidate appears to be a woman called Christie, when a handsome man named Bryce walks through the door, Sally hires him on the spot.

After hearing a pitch for a timeshare, Dick is sold and, unable to afford it entirely, he convinces Don to pay the other half. When Dick, Mary, Sally and Don take their first holiday there, however, they find it to be dismal; small and windowless, with nothing in the surrounding area but a prison. Meanwhile, Tommy has finally outgrown Harry, leading Harry, paranoid that he is shrinking, to consult a doctor.

Dick discovers that Mary has been receiving elaborate love letters from a mystery man named 'Scoochie' and confronts her about it. She reveals that she has been receiving them for years but has no idea who Scoochie actually is, so Dick pretends that it has been him all along. This goes wrong, however, when the real Scoochie arranges to meet Mary at the Medieval Festival. Meanwhile, after another alien unit operating in Ohio wins an award over the Solomons at the Alien Award Show, Sally and Harry make it their mission to track them down, and eventually move in with an Amish family, who they believe to be the other unit, since they are so different.