When Mia accuses Ben of ripping her favorite pair of jeans, she drags him to the store, where he has to break the tough news to Mia... it's time for pregnancy pants. Meanwhile Joel decides to get himself into shape after he finds out he's ranked last in Vicky and her girlfriends' fantasy husband draft website, and Maddie goes to extreme lengths to impress Casey with her high regard for the U.S. Postal Service.

Ben hopes to get his name inscribed on a shamrock at his favorite bar, but it looks like he will strike out in his efforts when he learns the establishment's owner is New York Yankee Nick Swisher (appearing as himself), with whom Ben has a bad history. Meanwhile, Mia and Maddie use a secret language to convey their apprehension about attending a charity event with Vicky.