Alanis Morissette as
Episodes 145
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Manners or Bad Habits
Laverne and Shirley Go to Finishing School will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The show's producers have written a book of manners, which Christine tries to explain.
Read MoreFuture World
Life on Earth will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine learns to tell fortunes using a crystal ball. The cast also looks at the world of computers, and how they can help with the routines of daily life.
Read MoreThe following program contains scenes that may not be suitable for mature audiences. Juvenile discretion is advised.
The adult dressing room catches fire, and the kids have to put it out. Then the kids have to sacrifice their clothes so that the adults can resume shooting Richard III. The sketches are about how different kids and adults are treated.
Read MoreClassical Music
Pavarotti Sings the Blues will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine takes up conducting as a hobby. In the sketches, the cast examines different musical instruments.
Read MoreFame
Fame will not be seen at this time, but is desperately sought after by each member of our cast.
Kevin decides to quit the show and become a big celebrity. He changes his name to Kevin Ilyanovich Rasputin Kubusheskie. Unfortunately, he isn't successful and he becomes desperate, resorting to playing the kid in the street interviews segment of the show, and even disguising himself as a letter in the closing credits.
Read MorePriorities
You Can't Do That on Television will not be seen today in order that we may get your priorities straight.
Ross is too busy watching a baseball game on TV to direct the show, so the cast is on their own to make the show.
Read MoreFriends
Laverne and Shirley Kill Each Other will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine is broke and the other cast members won't talk to her until she pays up what she owes them. In order to do the show, she pays them each a dollar to do their lines with her.
Read MoreESP - Magic Astrology
The Twilight Zone Gets Redeveloped will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The crew fears a ghost is haunting the studio when strange things start happening. Lisa decides to perform an exorcism to get rid of it. In the sketches, the cast pokes fun at ESP and astrology, as well as magic in sketches like Genie of the Electric Lamp.
Read MoreBody Parts
Real People's Armpits will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The show's cast competes to see who has the perfect body.
Read MoreForeign Countries
Around the World in 80 Days will not be seen at this time so that we may present…
Ross appears interested in world travel and foreign cultures, like the rest of the cast. Actually, Ross is only interested in playing ""exchange bank.""
Read MoreLiterature
Masterpiece Theater will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine tries to become one of the shows writers, while Justin tries to track down the great author A. Nonymous. In the sketches, the cast looks at the classics of literature.
Read MoreTechnology
The Electric Company Blows a Fuse will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The cast takes another look at computers and robots. In the process, Ross tests out an interactive poll system. Viewers are supposed to touch the superimposed green and red squares on the screens to determine what happens next. The result: in the space of four minutes, Luke gets shot, Vanessa is slimed, and Lisa is forced to not say anything.
Read MoreMalls / Hangouts
The A-Team Makes One Cup of Coffee Last 5 Hours will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Alasdair becomes a street musician, while Ross acts as his manager. The rest of the cast spends the entire show sitting around doing nothing.
Read MoreSeasons / Weather
Mr. Wizard Shows You How to Make Rain will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Alasdair makes a weather machine, but it doesn't work correctly.
Read MoreRomance and Dating
Love Connection Short Circuits will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Doug pretends to be Cupid and tries to fix up the entire cast with a girl/boyfriend.
Read MoreIdentity Crisis
Mr. T Thinks He's a Girl will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Alasdair tries out different jobs to see which one is right for him. Lisa does a paper for school on what people want to do for their careers.
Read MoreSuper Monster Theatre will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
As everyone confesses what he or she is afraid of, the Locker Monster attacks Vanessa.
Read MorePessimism / Optimism
The Wreck of the Love Boat will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Lisa thinks that being optimistic will save her plant from dying.
Read MoreWildlife / Animals
Wild, Wild Kingdom will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Lisa gets made-up all flashy looking. When Alasdair insults her new look, she punches him, causing him to think he's different animals.
Read MoreOuter Space
Carl Segan Meets Millions and Millions of Martians will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Doug goes into outer space to meet the aliens that he'd been communicating with.
Read MoreWorld Records
Ripley's Incredibly Amazing Believe It or Not People will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross plugs his new egg farm (at Route 12, King Side Road) by having Alasdair break the world record for number of hard boiled eggs eaten in one sitting.
Read MoreThe A-Team Blows Up the Land of Oz will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The cast does many sketches about various fairy tales.
Read MoreKnow-It-Alls
Mr. Wizard Explains the Universe will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Nerdy Matthew annoys the entire cast.
Read MoreTV Commercials
The Commercial Messages will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
In the sketches, the cast does many parodies of TV commercials. They also try to sell some of Ross' malfunctioning products as part of another get-rich-quick scheme.
Read MoreBack to School
Lassie Flunks Obedience School will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross decided to tutor the cast. He covers everything from reading to advanced chemistry.
Read MoreEnemies & Paranoia
Hulk Hogan vs. Punkey Brewster in Mismatch of the Century will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross gets the cast ready for the arrival of the cast of the Russian version of YCDTOTV.
Read MoreCensorship
Censored Foul-Ups, Bleeps & Boners will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
In an attempt to keep the show clean, the network censors have added bleeps and censor bars to the show.
Read MorePoverty and Unemployment
Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Naida's father hires the cast as servants after they all get fired.
Read MorePart-Time Jobs
The A-Team Delivers Newspapers will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The cast takes a look at the current job market for kids.
Read MoreDiscipline
Top Gun Gets Put on Latrine Cleaning Duty will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross becomes a drill sergeant to induce discipline in the cast.
Read MoreBooks and Reading
Reading Rambo will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The Librarian is very happy about this week's episode being about reading, and gets ready for her first big scene. She becomes upset, however, that there are no sketches in this episode that take place in the library.
Read MoreAnniversaries
Santa Claus Forgets Christmas will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The cast becomes suspicious that Ross has put something in Doug and Vanessa's food to keep them small, as the two celebrate their 5th anniversary on the show.
Read MoreCommunication
E.T. Phones Home and Gets a $1,000,000 Phone Bill will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
An alien ship is approaching Earth and causes the show's transmission satellites to malfunction. The Aliens have come in search of Green Slime.
Read MoreMalfunctions
Batman's Hairdryer Fries Robin will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The studio's cameras keep breaking because of Ted's ugliness.
Read MoreCleanliness
Mr. Clean Falls Into a Tar Pit will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross makes the cast wear sailor suits to prepare for a visit from the Senate's Committee to Clean Television. In the end, the inspector only wants to be sure the camera lenses are clean.
Read MoreTime
The Days of Our Lives will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The budget for the show has been cut so it must be filmed in black and white. All the kids go into a decolorization machine. When the producers realize that color shows are more profitable the kids can't switch back. In their attempts to overcome the glitch, they turn the show into a silent movie at the end.
Read MorePunishments
Mothers of the World Paddle Rambo will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
To improve the ratings, and to punish the cast for bad acting, Ross sees to it that at least one cast member is slimed between each sketch.
Read MoreAge
Michael Jackson Gets Old and Wrinkled will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross drags Vanessa back onto the show 3 years after she left because she still has an episode under her contract (because the Adoption episode was banned). Meanwhile, Chris is nervous about being fired because of his upcoming birthday and fear that he has reached ""the age"".
Read MoreLost
Superman Loses His Tights will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Nick enlists the help of the Genie of the Lost Sock to find Chris' jacket and a camera the Nick borrowed from Ross. In the search, he finds everything that every cast member of the show since it first went on the air had lost.
Read MoreFirst Times
The Wright Brothers Lost Their Luggage will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross tries to improve the show's ratings by having this episode be the first to be shot in several different locations.
Read MoreCelebrations
Parents and Teachers Celebrate the Cancellation of You Can't Do That On Television will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross decides to show how all of the countries around the world celebrate special events.
Read MoreEffort
Rambo Thinks will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Some of the cast members try to do certain things, all unsuccessfully. Nick tries to remember his name, Sariya tries to keep her new hairstyle from getting slimed, Christian tries to nice to Jennifer, and Jennifer tries to wear a dress.
Read MoreSports
Roseanne Barr Goes Synchronized Swimming will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross goes sports crazy. He makes Chris use the eternal flame to light the gas grill, causing him to blow up, he uses special effects to give Carlos athletes foot, and he uses a ""Test Your Strength"" machine to scam the cast out of money.
Read MoreGenerosity
Batman Gives Away His Batmobile will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
In order to get him slimed, Chris lets Patrick do the introduction. The make-up lady makes Stephanie look like a senior citizen. When the boom mike breaks, Ross makes Christian hang from the ceiling to operate the mike.
Read MoreEmbarrassment
Rambo Takes Ballet Lessons will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross, in an effort to embarrass the cast, has their parents come to the studio.
Read MoreLive!
The main plot for this episode is unknown, but it featured a Panasonic radio as a prize for one of the phone-in competitions, as most of the episodes from this 1979 season. This episode also featured a segment on baton twirling. The episode contains the well-known scene where Ross (before a major costume revamp) teaches Jono Gebert how to do a weather forecast on an actual CJOH news/weather set.
Read MoreShoestring
Tim constantly tries to get a date with Cindy, but keeps looking like a fool, losing her to Jim and David. To add insult to injury, he keeps being forced into wearing a dress…and he can't seem to find his pants, forcing him to go home wearing a bright, pink dress.
Read MoreNickel and Dime
The main plot for this episode is unknown, but it featured kids' jokes and opinions filmed at the Winterloo slide at Ottawa's N.A.C.
Read MorePeanuts
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Repeat
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Ottawa Director
Only one scene remains in existence from this episode. In the scene Tim is the dungeon and is told not to pull the chains. He does not listen and gets slimed.
Read MoreSt. Patrick's Day
Lisa keeps scheming to get Bradfield slimed, but her plans keep backfiring and result in her getting slimed several times.
Read MoreExecutive Washroom
The network executives have a party on the set and leave money behind. When the cast goes to pick it up, Ross quickly confiscates the cash, claiming it is useless play money. Mr. Dime and Seth Pool get into a battle over the Executive Bathroom, when the lock keeps being changed. Christine, Sarah, Jim, and Mike keep trying to get each other slimed or pied.
Read MoreStraitjackets
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Local Show
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End of the Life
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Work, Work, Work
The Muppets Get Suffed will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine's dad makes her do work while hosting the show, so she keeps shovels a wheelbarrow full of dirt onto the set.
Read MoreTransportation
The Dukes of Hazard Line Up for Gas will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross spends most of the show making Christine's life miserable by making her do many strange things like jump from an airplane without a parachute, forcing her to be shot, makes her sick by distorting the broadcast, has her stuffed into a trash can, and even has her mummified.
Read MoreStrike Now
Captain Kangaroo Robs a Bank will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine goes on strike demanding a raise. She eventually gets it, but discovers that she won't get paid for the time she was on strike, even though she was still on the show.
Read MoreFitness
The Six Million Dollar Man Rusts to Bits will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross tries to make money by collecting his family allowances. He also tries to adopt Christine, who is using an exercise bike and some special effects to travel around the world.
Read MoreSafety First
Hit and Run on Sesame Street will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Despite her constant attempts to explain safety rules, bad things keep happening to Christine including electric shock and decapitation.
Read MoreSexual Equality
The Dukes of Hazard Dress Up in Drag will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The rest of the cast is upset that Christine, as host, has an easier job. They trade places with her and all co-host the show, while she takes their positions in the sketches. In the end, she ends up on a quest to get Brodie slimed.
Read MorePersonal Hygiene
Jaws Eats Jacques Cousteau will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine hosts this episode from her bathtub at home. During the show she gets surprise visits from the cast and crew. The episode ends with her getting sucked down the drain.
Read MoreCrime & Vandalism
Mr. Rogers Vandalizes the Neighborhood will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The entire set is stolen piece by piece, including the microphones and Christine's clothes.
Read MorePeer Pressure
Sixty Minutes will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Lisa and Rodney keep trying to get Kevin to moon the cameras, but Christine stops them.
Read MoreAddictions
Pacman Eats General Hospital will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine plays ATARI for the entire show, thus demonstrating how video games are addictive. In the sketches, many references are made to the soap General Hospital, and how addictive that is.
Read MorePopularity
The Most Popular Kids Show on Television will not be seen at this time so that we may present…
Ross holds a ""phone-in"" contest to see which cast member is the most popular. All the kids wear numbers so that viewers can clarify their voting. At the halfway point, Kevin (wearing 111) is first. In an attempt to get more votes, Christine trades her ballot number (872) for a lower number (0). In the end, Zilch (Darryl) wins the contest even though he wasn't in this episode. They discover he won because Christine wore his number zero.
Read MoreFads & Fashion
Fred Sanford: World's Best Dressed Man will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The cast attempts to keep up with the latest fashions, which change about every two minutes.
Read MoreCulture Junk
Big Bird Dances Swan Lake will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
The cast examines plays, literature, music, art, and theater. Christine is introduced to ""water music"".
Read MoreTelevision
You Can't Do That on Television cannot be seen at this time because…we couldn't do it. In its place, we present a show about television.
Christine explains what goes on behind the scenes of a TV show. Along the way she gets every possible kind of slime dumped on her (and Vanessa).
Read MoreThe Not-So-Fair Show
Real People will not be seen at this time because we couldn't find any. In its place, we present the following unfair program.
The cast complains about everything that is unfair with the world in 1982. To add insult to injury, the Unfairy Godmother stops by.
Read MoreGrowing Up
My Three Sons of Frankenstein will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Christine tells us about all of her greatest fears. In the sketches, the cast talks about the pros and cons of getting older.
Read MoreRules & Regulations
Mister Rogers' Neighborhood will not be seen because the neighborhood has been declared unsafe.
Ross forces the cast to follow new rules that the Union has made for child actors. Lisa is forced to eat a mud pie and loses her voice.
Read MoreMysteries and Crimes
The Greatest Detective will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Some of the cast members, and a plate of Barth Burgers disappear, so the great Inspector Flusseau comes in to investigate.
Read MoreThe Worst of You Can't Do That on Television
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Privileges
Kermit Treated Like a Prince will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
Ross gets angry and revokes the cast's phone and ball-playing privileges.
Read MoreInventions
MacGyver Invents a Spaceship will not be seen at this time so that we may present...
To improve the cast and add a new edge to the show, Ross buys a robot to use as a cast member.
Read MoreChanges aka Project 131
Because of the 25 year anniversary, the cast (having been doing the show all these years, but is so bad that no one will air it) are given one final aired episode. Ross is retiring, Brodie is given the new Chez Barth's, Vanessa (who is with child) and Marjorie are up to no good, and Alasdair and Justin are mad because they weren't in enough scenes. Things are changing...but, is change good? Will the kids finally be relieved of their duties at the show as the ultimate change? This is the official reunion episode of the series.
Read More