Hemingway is feeling suicidal on his birthday, but discovers new meaning when the entire bus station is held host age by a gun-toting lunatic.

John tries to help a famed '70s poet (Cassidy) onto the wagon, while attempting to get his second ex-wife pay his first ex-wife's son's college tuition, the bus station bar and lunch counter become the trendiest places in town, a lesbian customer challenges Officer Hampton to an arm-wrestling match.