John has a fling with identical twins without realizing that he is seeing two women. They leave him completely exhausted. A passenger neglects his wife to conduct business deals over the phone. She becomes infatuated with Paolo while attending his tango class. A woman falls for a handsome man who won't reveal what he does for a living. Jim hopes to inspire Danny by taking a midterm about The Great Gatsby with him.

An author is pursued by a man who claims to be the vampire from one of her books. Will meets a seemingly perfect woman, but rejects her after discovering that she is a former prostitute. A clumsy young man fears that he has passed along his bad luck to his new girlfriend.

As part of the Valentine's cruise, Jim must marry 250 couples--including his ex-wife and her new beau. Pat shares a passionate kiss with Jim and considers calling off her wedding. A woman who has difficulty talking to men tries to connect with a painter through her writing... but he's illiterate. The passengers are issued pagers that beep when they pass someone with a similar interest (relationship, sex or karaoke). A couple in search of sex reluctantly falls for each other. John mistakenly receives a same-sex pager and must dodge a throng of male admirers.