Jerri Blank is a former prostitute and junkie whore who returns to high school as a 46-year-old freshman at Flatpoint High. Jerri ran away from home and became 'a boozer, a user, and a loser' after dropping out as a teenager, supporting her drug habits through prostitution, stripping, and larceny. She has been to prison several times, the last time because she 'stole the TV'.

At home, Jerri's father Guy is comatose, although he seems perfectly capable of amazing feats. Her stepmother Sara is vain and bitter, and stepbrother Derrick is a bullying jock. Jerri tries to do things the right way but always ends up learning the wrong lesson. Her hijinks often involve, either directly or indirectly, neurotic history teacher Chuck Noblet and his secret lover, sensitive art teacher Geoffrey Jellineck.

Eight-year-old Miyuki lost her mother several years ago and has since lived with just her father, Ryoichi. One day, she is suddenly introduced to Akiko, who is to be her new mother. Akiko uses her stellar business skills to try to win the little girl over, only to fail miserably. Ryoichi tries to reason with Miyuki, but to no avail. Akiko changes tactics and tries to get Shimoyama, a woman in the neighborhood who knows Miyuki well, on her side.