I know it's downright shocking to you people that a movie called "Ninja Apocalypse" could be terrible, but let me elaborate before you bring out the pitchforks and torches! So, you know it's going to be all down hill for this movie when in the opening minutes you see the "Lost clan" of ninjas. Their clan, which, by the way, consists of only four people, looks more like a UN peace keeping squad than a ninja clan. They got the token black guy, white guy, puerto rican, hippy and some other fifth guy. Also, I thought ninjas were big on stealth. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how stealthy a 7 foot tall heavily muscled and deaf black guy is going to be. Besides how lost can their clan be when they were found in the first minute of the film. In the beginning you also get a preview of the mysterious ways of the ninja and the skills of the ninja when the Lost clan goes on a field trip and uses their ninja skills to fix their broken Dodge station wagon that has engine problems. I don't know maybe one of them did a homestudy mechanics course over the internet or is a part time mechanic by trade....I don't know much it pays to be in a Lost clan and you have to eat, right?

Now let's move on to the acting part. In the beginning they have a meeting where all the clans converge. The clans consist of a groups made of vampires,sluts, japanese guys and other weirdos. The main ninja guy gives his speech about peace and they all start chanting his name, and this is where things really start to go bad. The camera zooms in on the leader of the Lost clan who shows all the emotion of a barstool when he keeps on chanting "Fumitaka! Fumitaka! Fumitaka! Now I don't know which acting school he went to, but shouting someone's name isn't exactly a complex emotion or difficult to act out, but he has no idea what he is doing.

So I think a word of warning is in order. Let me just say that this movie is to ninja movies what Gigli was to romantic comedies.