讨论 Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Item: Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Language: en-US

Type of Problem: Incorrect_content

Extra Details: A moderator has made changes to the overview, introduced some grammatical errors, and then locked it.

Original version: As the world falls, young Furiosa is snatched from the Green Place of Many Mothers into the hands of a great biker horde led by the warlord Dementus. Sweeping through the wasteland, they encounter the citadel presided over by Immortan Joe. The two tyrants wage war for dominance, and Furiosa must survive many trials as she puts together the means to find her way home.

Current version (queried changes in bold): As the world fell, young Furiosa is snatched from the Green Place of Many Mothers and falls into the hands of a great Biker Horde led by the Warlord Dementus. Sweeping through the Wasteland they come across the Citadel presided over by The Immortan Joe. While the two Tyrants war for dominance, Furiosa must survive many trials as she puts together the means to find her way home.

Errors:

The opening sentence can read one of two ways.
It can be
"As the world falls, young Furiosa is snatched ... and falls"
or
"As the world fell, young Furiosa was snatched ... and fell"
but it can't be
"As the world fell, young Furiosa is snatched ... and falls"
because this mixes past and present tense.

If you choose to write in the past tense, then the rest of the overview needs to be rewritten to be consistent.

Additionally, whether "is snatched" needs to be followed by "and falls (into)" depends on who's doing the snatching. If she's snatched by the Biker Horde themselves, then "and falls" is redundant; she's simply "snatched (from) ... into" their hands, it's a single action, as opposed to "is snatched" and then "falls into," which are two separate actions.

If "Biker Horde" is to be treated as a proper noun, then it should be "the great Biker Horde" not "a great Biker Horde."

Likewise, if the character's full name is Warlord Dementus, then it should read "led by Warlord Dementus", not "led by the Warlord Dementus."

And the other antagonist's name is Immortan Joe, not The Immortan Joe.

There are some questionable additions of proper nouns too. I'm not sure whether "Citadel" and "Tyrants" are actually proper nouns in the context of the film.

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