After returning from summer break, the students of Clone High become acquainted with their new science teacher, Professor Hirsute. Meanwhile, a newly friendless Joan receives an invite from the only club that will take her as a member.

Scudworth takes Frida under his wing, causing the would-be artist to consider a more lucrative career… in competitive snorkeling.

While Scudworth develops a plan to convert Clone High into a religious school, JFK seeks absolution for his philandering lifestyle from the Prayer Pals. Plagued with guilt after her tryst with Toussaint, Harriet turns to Joan – and the Lord – for advice.

When Scudworth names Joan principal for the day, she tries to win her former friends back with an exclusive in-school soiree… that soon gets out of hand.

As Valentine’s Day nears, Confucius and Joan con Harriet into thinking they’re a couple. Meanwhile, Scudworth swoons over an old nemesis.

Tasked with creating a new batch of clones, Scudworth and Mr. B realize they may be past their gravedigging prime. Then, Joan leads the charge to stop an illicit cemetery rendezvous before Abe loses everything… except his virginity.

After Scudworth imposes mandatory Parent-Principal conferences on the student-body, Confucius enlists his feuding friends to fill in for his absentee foster parents. To win over Frida’s dad, Harriet helps give Cleo an epic make-under.

After noticing Scudworth’s stranger-than-usual behavior, the clones uncover a tale of rival theme parks, romance, and revenge… all within the pages of his diary.

Joan, Abe, and the rest of the gang find themselves saddled with summer jobs at the theme park of Scudworth’s childhood dreams. Meanwhile, Candide’s plan to wipe Cloney Island off the map threatens the future of Clone High.