TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: Stone Town was the first stop for a jet-lagged Heraldo after more than 3 flights and untold levels of insanity which anyone who wishes to travel these days have to contend with. As soon as I stepped off that last plane though I felt like I'd just arrived in heaven.

For in Tanzania life goes on as normal. So normal in fact that buffets are still up and running at the hotels and markets are bustling with life. Naturally then I had to go on a mega shopping spree to see what the local vendors have on offer here in Zanzibar. Traditional masks, paintings by local artists and the usual soccer jerseys dominated the shops.

Along the way I ran into some awesome people....

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: Every country have their own homebrew. In Zanzibar it's known as Gongu. But it's not easy to come by. After spending the better half of the day failing at finding a barber shop to make a haircut video, it suddenly dawned on me that a Gongu hunt would make for more entertaining viewing. Plus, I was kind of thirsty 😎 The only problem was that everywhere I'd asked for Gongu previously that day had no idea what I was talking about (partly because I used a different term for it as you can see at the start of the vid; puree). So I needed to enlist a local for some help. Enter Zanzibar's greatest motorbike driver and the man with the coolest and least YouTube friendly name on the whole island....

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: Having tried, but failed, to give myself the Haputale fade on a number of occasions, I was ecstatic to learn that the barbershop I had just sat down in in Zanzibar told me they knew how to make one. A few minutes in I realized the barber had simply answered yes without knowing what the Haputale fade actually is. Either way this was going to be one intriguing haircut adventure.

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: On the Gongu hunt, we drove past an epic looking local market along a busy road. It was full of life and not a tourist in sight. In other words exactly the type of place that I like to go shopping to see what prices are like outside of tourism central. There was only one problem, Faki Party (yes that's still his name he says although he uses Faking on occasion, ok, I added the Party surname), still doesn't really understand much of what I say in terms of directions. So I simply had to trust that when I said market he knew which one I meant.... well.... one wrong turn later (or a shortcut as he tongue in cheek dubbed it), and all my bargaining solo market hunt plans were out the window......

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: With the market I wanted to do my shopping in nowhere in sight, I found myself in a much smaller village looking marketplace with no other shoppers around. I was the only one buying things there which also meant that every vendor had his eyes on my federal reserves! There was really only one item I wanted to purchase though; soccer jerseys. And lots of them! So what does a soccer jersey cost in Zanzibar? Turns out a lot more than you'd expect....

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: All over Stone Town I've seen locals cruising around on classic looking bicycles. Most of these bikes seem to be at least 2-3 decades old. After a couple of days filled with jealousy I decided I also wanted one. But where could I get one? It's not like these classic bicycles are sold in stores anymore.

So I went for a walk with Polo School in search of someone willing to sell me theirs. Before we'd reached the area we expected there to be a lot of cyclists at, and before I'd even started filming, I spotted one of these classic bikes locked and parked outside a coffee shop.

The owner was an old man who said he'd bought it over 20 years ago for 8000 shilling. He also seemed quite fond of the bike. A few minutes later though, I was the new proud owner of this classic bicycle and the old man had more money in his hand than he'd ever expect to get for his old bike.

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: There are exclusive resorts with dozens of rooms and then there are ultra exclusive luxury ones with just 5! The Island Pongwe Lodge, located on Zanzibar's eastern coastline facing the Indian ocean, falls into the latter category. With 4 standard bungalows and only 1 villa, all ocean front and located on a private island, it doesn't get more exclusive than this.

Since most prospective tourists have a greater interest in what hotels look like as opposed to the local street food markets, I decided to get their most expensive villa for a night to revel in oceanfront luxury after my grueling bicycle journey across the island, and show you all how you can enjoy your vacation in luxury on Zanzibar.

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: At 7.30, with the tide just high enough to get The Island Lodge's Zanzibar style sailing canoe up from the sand and out into the ocean, we set out on a fishing expedition. The fish here are incredibly colorful but how easy is to catch any? And can your favorite Northman, after his dismal performance last year out lobster fishing in Sri Lanka, actually sail a canoe without getting seasick?

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: My first day on the beach in Pongwe I learnt two things. First, seaweed has value. Two, you can also farm it! The previous day I'd observed the local villagers not only sit out in the water when the tide was low planting seaweed, but also bringing back baskets of fully grown seaweed to the shore on their heads.

Naturally I wanted in on this unique feature of the local economy. This is the story of how I became Zanzibar's greatest seaweed farmer.

TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: After 6 hours of seaweed farming and angling for exotic fish in the Indian ocean, I devoured 4 sea-urchin gin shots for lunch and set out on the ocean floor from The Island Pongwe Lodge on my classic bicycle in the direction of Stone Town on Zanzibar's Western coast.

Deciding that cycling the same road I had come the previous day would be boring, I opted for a new route back. This change, or wrong turn if you will, added an extra 15km to what was already a 33km route. That's right, 48km of road to peddle during the hottest hours of the day on my classic, albeit increasingly frail sounding, bike lay ahead. But the road would be paved, and hence an easier ride I conjectured.

Let's just say I conjectured wrong....

TANZANIA, TANGANYIKA: I used to wonder what it'd be like to live in a pre-industrial revolution style community without electricity, running water or even showers and bathrooms. Would I be able to adjust? Could I live without my cell-phone? Double Whooper's? The internet? A kitchen? An actual floor? Ability to see inside my house after sunset?

Never really thinking I'd get the opportunity to try this out I'd stopped running this thought experiment until I actually got the chance here in Tanganyika to live this out in real life.

Granted the first couple of days I sort of eased myself into it as I still had to treck into the nearest 'town' (if you can even call it that) to get my tribal outfit sorted and stock up on drinking water. For there they have some of the conveniences of modern life such as restaurants selling chapatis and shops selling fabrics.

TANZANIA, TANGANYIKA: For the Masai tribes, cows are the spice of life that underpins their very existence. In fact cows are money. It's a means of facilitating trade and it's also a store of value. The Masai tribes therefore go to great lengths to keep their herds well feed and healthy. Said task is the men's job. The women do basically everything else.

Around 9AM everyday most of the men in the tribe wander out to find the best grassing fields for their herds. They stay with them all day and don't return until sunset roughly 10 hours later.

This morning I joined them for the very first leg of said journey as I was eager to visit a family of Swahili sharecroppers who'd built a make-shift scrapyard style tent in a cornfield they were tending to on the route the Masai wander out on.

We'd stopped there the day before to fry up some corn-cobs but discovered that not only maize was growing in their field.....

TANZANIA, TANGANYIKA: Twice a month the Masai tribes gather at a huge regional market which sells everything from livestock to tribal clothes and farming equipment. There's also an epic food section at this market which specializes in the freshest beef BBQ I've ever seen. No joke! The skin of the cow is literally on the ground next to the bonfire.

The main objective with this tribal market shopping spree was to get myself a more comfortable Masai outfit to wear in my village and to purchase a premium sized goat so the whole tribe could get some much needed proteins in their diet for at least one day. Since all they eat is Ugali, a mixture of Maize and water, with some leaves added into the mix, everyone were really excited when I told them about my goat BBQ plans.

So off went in search of the fattest goat in sight... my plans however were quickly, albeit only temporarily, scuttled when I spotted the hottest goat I've seen since Don Jr. My prized albino pet goat

TANZANIA, TANGANYIKA: Since the Masai tribes of Tanganyika sustain themselves on a diet based on Ugali (maize) and plants, a proper BBQ is an occasion to truly treasure. So when a goat or cow is indeed slaughtered, no part of the animal goes to waste. After purchasing a goat in the tribal market yesterday, for the sole purpose of giving the whole tribe which have shown me such great hospitality a protein filled BBQ day out in the sun, we ventured out into the forest to begin preparations for the feast.

What ensued was 8 hours of non-stop Masai style cooking and eating. Several dishes and medicinal soups were cooked and devoured today. The exact names of the many different Masai dishes made are:

TANZANIA, TANGANYIKA: How do you charge your phone and computer when the tribe you're living in doesn't have electricity? You travel to capital city of course where there's an abundance of little shops making bank on the fact that even remote Masai tribes have cell-phones and other modern tech these days but lack the infrastructure to keep their devices charged.

After delivering my computer and Powerbank to Emy's favorite charging store, we continue on to the town's greatest baker before paying a visit to a tailor to get my new clothes from the market sown together.

TANZANIA, TANGANYIKA: When you find yourself living in a remote African village without electricity, running water or even a well, doing laundry suddenly ceases to be something you do when you have 2 minutes to spare to load up your washing-machine, and instead becomes a journey you plan to spend the better part of your day completing.

Seeing as I am a visitor here eager to get an insight into what life living in a Masai tribe in Tanzania is truly like, this was something I was royally looking forward to. I thus decided to rent a motorbike and turn doing my laundry into a truly epic excursion through the bushlands of rural Tanzania.

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TANZANIA, ZANZIBAR: Before leaving Zanzibar almost 2 months ago, I learnt that the World Gongo Hunting Champion of 2021; Mr. Faki Party Taxi, did not actually own a motorbike. The ones he'd been driving me around on were rented from others.

This is common on Zanzibar. The Rickshaw drivers I've spoken to also do this. Not one of them have said he owns his vehicle. Instead they rent them for 15 000 Tanzanian shilling per day. They spend another 15 000 on gasoline. Anything above 30 000 is thus profits.

After confirming that Faki was also doing this, by having the bartender call him to ask about where he had bought his motorbike, I tried to find a motorbike dealer. But that's easier said than done in Zanzibar. Type motorbike dealer into Google maps and you get some results, but when you go to those shops not a single one of them actually have motorbikes for sale.

TANZANIA, TANGANYIKA: Life out in the bush in Tanzania can be dangerous. But it's not just the wildlife you need to pay close attention to. Little cuts and scrapes from thorns and branches you step on can seriously mess up your foot. It's also super painful. I stepped on such a thorn on Zanzibar and it went straight though my thick running nike shoe (the heel to be precise) and deep into my foot.

The local Masai tribes however have come up with a solution for this: make shoes from old car tyres. These shoes are not only super durable. They last for decades according to the people I've spoken to who've grown up wearing them. But they're also super strong and nothing that's grows out in the bush will be able to pierce through your car tyre shoes.